


Us on the last day of the year

by Doublegyeoms



Category: GOT7
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, I Don't Even Know, I Made Myself Cry, I'm Bad At Tagging, Love Confessions, M/M, Married Characters, Please Don't Hate Me, Sad, School Reunion, Sorry Not Sorry, What Have I Done
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-29
Updated: 2020-02-29
Packaged: 2021-02-28 06:55:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,092
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22949680
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Doublegyeoms/pseuds/Doublegyeoms
Summary: because no matter what; love sometimes just isn't enough.
Relationships: Im Jaebum | JB/Park Jinyoung, Im Jaebum | JB/Undisclosed, Park Jinyoung (GOT7)/Undisclosed
Comments: 10
Kudos: 20





	Us on the last day of the year

**_“Jinyoung..”_** The said man turned to his side, his smile frozen in his face as a face of a man he grew very much accustomed to greeted his sight— or at least he used to be very much accustomed to.

“Hey..” He spoke, sounding a bit unsure on whether he should act formal or comfortable around him.

“Can we talk for a minute? Just to catch up and all.” The man gave him a soft chuckle; jinyoung gripped the drink he was holding unconsciously, laughing half-heartedly to ease the awkwardness he was feeling.

“Of course. What do you want to talk about?”

“Umm.. can we go talk outside? It’s kind of noisy in here and I wanted to have a conversation where we can really hear each other without shouting on the top of our lungs.” He said before adding; “Of course if that’s fine with you and your spouse.”

> _Oh.._

“Oh..” Jinyoung let out, as if he forgot that he **_has_** a spouse that is also somewhere in this crowded noisy room. As if, for a second there as this man stood in front of him, jinyoung forgot he is already married and is happy— he is happy… _right?_

“Are you okay?” Jinyoung snapped out of his thoughts as he blinked; smiling lightly at the man who was looking so concerned.

“Yeah.. yeah I’m okay.”

“If you want I can talk to your spouse and ask if-“

“No. it’s… it’s fine.. I’m sure they’re busy catching up with the rest of our batch mates.” Jinyoung cut him short, mouthing a small 'excuse us' to the person he was talking to before the man even appeared.

“Oh okay then. I’m sure my wife is somewhere talking to her best friends too around here. And it’s not like there’s going to be some runaway marriage if we go out and talked for a while. I mean, we both have our respective spouses and we love them right?” He laughed, although jinyoung felt like he was saying that more to himself than to the younger.

“Of course.” Jinyoung smiled as they walked out of the packed room and to the balcony of the reception hall.

Jinyoung breathe out a soft sigh as soon as the cold breeze of December hit his face, shivering ever so softly due to his thin clothing— he should’ve brought his jacket if it weren’t for the time.

“You good? You look like you need some warmth.”

“I’m fine, Thanks.”

“Are you sure? I know you. You don’t have to lie to me you know.”

Jinyoung felt nostalgia hitting him to the core; the coldness of the wind and the growing pain in his chest making it harder to breathe by seconds.

“I’m f-“ He was stunned when a warm and comforting scent enveloped him— looking at the man with questioning eyes who only chuckled at him.

“Wear my jacket at least. I don’t want you freezing here.”

“What about you? Aren’t you cold?”

“Me? Please. The cold never bothered me anyway.” The man proud said as he puffed his chest; shivering as soon as the chilly winter night hit his skin that made jinyoung laugh— the laugh that he used to give him.

“Whoa…”

“What?”

“I _missed_ that.”

Jinyoung stopped laughing, his cheeks turning pink before looking away; fixing the jacket that was clearly larger than his frame.

“Stop being so cheesy.”

“I’m serious.” Jinyoung glanced at him and sure enough, his face says it all— the longing, the pain, the regret and for a split second; jinyoung thought he was looking at his reflection.

“Jaebeom-hyung we-“

“ _I **missed** you_.”

> _I missed you too, so much._

“It’s already the end of the year huh..” Jinyoung changed the topic, moving even further to watch the busy streets filled with glowing lights— it would’ve been romantic if this wasn’t their case. If they weren’t already married to someone else and living their lives on their own.

“Yeah. I remember when we were kids. We used to wait until 12 midnight so we can jump to our hearts content thinking we’re going to grow taller like our parents would say.”

“I remember that too. You hated how my mom would tell your mom that we all should have dress codes. That polka dots shirt you burned? That made me laugh so much.” Jinyoung mused at the memory, his eyes clouded with moments he knows he will never experience again— moments they can never have again.

“Oh my god who even wears green shirts with polka dots, jinyoung? That’s a violation against fashion.” Jaebeom spoke, faking a disgusted tone as jinyoung laugh more.

"Not to mention that weird hairstyle you got during sophomore year, hyung."

"Ugh please let's not go there. I still get nightmares everytime I remember that god god awful hairstyle."

"Touché."

“So.. how have you been?” The elder asked again while jinyoung hummed, the awkwardness he felt earlier slowly dissipating as he let the night just go and do it’s thing.

“I’ve been great I guess. Got promoted a few months back at the company I’ve been working for since I graduated. Met my partner who used to be our batch mate before and well things went well for us and we got married. What about you? How’s life been treating you?”

“Hmm… well it’s fine. I’m still working on the music production team but I also have my own songs up on the platforms too so it’s a win-win. My wife and I met again by chance when I went to an event, she’s a singer as well, I guess you do know her. She used to sing for event in our school.”

“Oh… **_her.”_** Jinyoung spoke as jaebeom nodded with a smile; “Dated for a few years and got married after and now we’ve been married for almost a year. You? When did you got married?”

“Just last year actually. We wanted to wait until we’re both stable in our jobs and we have enough savings to start our own family.”

“I see. So I was a year late huh? _Should’ve went back a year earlier._ ” Jaebeom whispered; jinyoung snapping his head to look at him confusedly.

“What?”

“I mean… So that I could attend your… wedding.” The elder laughed but it didn’t reach his eyes. Jinyoung felt the undertone of his words; the other meaning as he stared at jaebeom who did the same.

“Hyung.. why were you late? Why didn’t you come home earlier?” Jinyoung found himself saying, his hands gripping the jacket tightly as jaebeom’s eyes turned solemn.

_“Jinyoung..”_

“Why hyung? Why now? Why not last year?

Why now when everything is settled for the both of us?” He added, unbeknownst to him was the tears that were forming on his eyes.

“Jinyoung please..”

“Tell me, hyung.. Why didn’t you came home a year early?

When I still had a choice..

.

.

 _When I could’ve chosen **you** instead_?”

Jaebeom was stunned as he watched the younger shed silent tears. His heart breaking whilst he stood there; unable to process the thought fully.

“…what?”

“ _I loved you, jaebeom-hyung_..”

Jaebeom took a sharp breath, eyes shaking as he took a step back.

“You.. You’re…” He muttered, voice full of disbelief as he looked at jinyoung who was already looking away; “You’re…

_You’re so unfair.” _

Unfair? Jinyoung.. is unfair? How about that time when jaebeom asked him to go with him to the city when jinyoung wanted to stay in their hometown? That time when jaebeom promised to visit every year but ended up going home 10 years later? That time jaebeom said he’ll call.. he’ll text.. he’ll keep in touch so jinyoung doesn’t have to worry… how can he be the unfair one when jinyoung had been waiting for him all those years?

“I waited for you, hyung.. 10 long years I waited for you to keep your promise that you’ll return. But you never did.”

“Jinyoung you must understand. College life isn’t as carefree as high school and with the amount of work I had after that.. I just couldn’t find the time. Why didn’t you said anything to me?”

“I guess you’re right.. time wasn’t really on our side.” Jinyoung laughed, wiping the tears from his eyes; “I could’ve texted you first. I could’ve sent a voice mail or a call.”

“Why didn’t you?”

“ **Because I got scared**.” Jinyoung whispered, staring at the fewer lights down the streets— no longer as bright as they were before; just like their relationship.

“I got scared that you already forgot about me and that I’m the only one missing you… missing **_us.”_**

“You could’ve tried..”

“I know. I could have. Just like you could have too. But then again, we didn’t so there’s no use to even regret what we did. I don’t regret marrying my partner.. I… I love him. Just like how I loved you.” He paused, collecting his thoughts before muttering the words; “Did you… ever loved me too? Not as a best friend nor a family.. but as a lover.”

Jaebeom was silent for a while; jinyoung was ready to accept that out of them two, he was the only one who held feelings.

“Yes. I _did_ love you at some point.”

Or maybe not and they were both foolish to lose a love they wanted.

“Wow.. We’re so stupid then.” Jinyoung choked a laugh but jaebeom remained serious.

"If we could go back... Will you change our fate?" Jaebeom asked as jinyoung stood firmly on his spot.

would he? 

"Maybe... Will you?"

"..If I can, Jinyoung. I would've ran to you. If I have known sooner.."

"It's fine, hyung. we're living our own lives now and we have our stable jobs. we were young back then, things were bound to change one way or another."

“Jinyoungie.. tell me.. are you _happy?”_ Jinyoung could only stare in his eyes as they locked gaze. He wanted to kiss him, to be by his side forever. To love him and to be loved by him.

But things changed.

**“….yes.”**

And there’s nothing he can do about it now.

“Oh.. I.. I don’t know why I expected you to say something else..” Jaebeom spoke before looking away; embarrassed that he had thought that maybe, just maybe, if he’s unhappy with his life then jaebeom can change that. He’s embarrassed that he was ready to drop everything and anything to make jinyoung happy again. But he guessed he doesn’t need to do that anymore— since jinyoung is already happy.

“Are you unhappy with the decision you made, hyung?” Jinyoung asked whilst jaebeom just chuckled; “Honestly? I’m regretting that I was a little too late. But I don’t regret meeting my wife and marrying her. I just… I just can’t help but to think..

 _What if we ended up together like what others thought we will?_ ”

“That’s a road not taken, hyung. Just like the many roads we will both take separately in the future as well.”

“I know.. I guess love wasn’t just meant to bloom for us.. I just wished I **_knew.”_**

“ _ **Me too**_.”

Silence fell before them before the countdown cheers from the inside echoed.

“It’s going to be a new year soon.. perhaps.. we can start over? As friends? I don’t want to lose you again.”

Jinyoung stared at him, hearing the voices of their friends and ex-classmates do the countdown to welcome the new year as he smiled softly.

“Of course. Let’s start over.. as _friends.”_

Jinyoung was surprised when jaebeom suddenly pulled him into a hug; he was about to ask when jaebeom whispered in his ear;

“ _Just a few seconds, jinyoungie.. let me hold you like this just for a few seconds.. let me have these last seconds of this year to hold you... then I’ll let go forever.”_

The younger could feel his eyes watering once more as he gripped the elder's shirt; pulling him closer as he buried his face at the crook of his neck.

_Ten._

“I’m sorry it took me too long to get back.”

_Nine._

Jinyoung sobbed as he felt jaebeom’s hug grew tighter, as if he was afraid to let go.

_Eight._

“I’m sorry I’m too late..”

_Seven._

“Maybe… in our next lives. Maybe by then..”

_Six._

“I can hold you longer like this…”

_Five._

“I can be with you for the rest of our lives..”

_Four._

“In our next lives… I'll make sure to love you and to say how much I love you.”

_Three._

“ **I loved you, Jinyoungie**.”

_Two._

“ **I loved you too, jaebeomie-hyung.**”

.

.

**_One._ **

**Author's Note:**

> HHHHHHhhHhHhhHh WHAT THE FUCK I HATE MYSELF KSHSKSJSKJSKSJSKSJKSJSKSJS


End file.
